The Problem of Perfectionism

In today’s age of social media, the pressure to be perfect seems inescapable. Our teens especially struggle with this pressure, which can exacerbate anxieties, insecurities, and take a toll on mental health.

It’s important to know what drives the desire to be perfect so we as parents can help our teens not be overwhelmed by it, and instead formulate a healthy outlook on themselves and their accomplishments.

Factors that can contribute to perfectionism:

Praise & Mindset: Praising just your child’s success and traits like smartness from a young age can sometimes cause them to develop a fear of errors. Instead, remember to also praise your child for their hard work and effort, so they see that they can learn skills previously difficult for them and that success can be achieved. This helps them develop a growth mindset for life.

Academic Pressure: Getting good grades, excelling in sports and music, getting into college or landing that dream internship…there’s so much kids do these days! The increasingly competitive nature of our society puts a LOT of pressure on our kids! Remind them that as long as they are doing their best, that is enough and that things will fall into place.

Fear of Disappointment: Sometimes, your child wants to be perfect because they don’t want to disappoint themselves, or even you as a parent! Remind them that you are proud of them facing challenges and putting in effort, no matter the mount of success they achieve.

Desire to Please: Often times, children want to be successful just to please parents. Or, be perfect so that they don’t stress parents out. They are trying to “protect” you. Remind them that the goal should not be a parent’s pride or pleasure, but happiness & success for the child in achieving a goal.

Sensationalizing Success and Failures: Our society inevitably praises those that win, and is harsh on those that stumble. Social media has unfortunately highlighted this even more. It’s important to surround your child with good role models that rise up despite making mistakes and shed light on their imperfections. This allows our teens to create healthy goals and not be afraid to try something for the fear of failing.

Nurturing your child’s self-esteem and providing an environment that celebrates not just success, but also hard work, growth, and lessons learned from failure can help them navigate the world better. The goal in life should be happiness, progress, and self-discovery, not perfection.

Your PediPals